Day 5 10.23.09
10.23.2009
10.21.2009
10.19.2009
Hair Hair Everywhere
As one of the dads of a young African-American daughter, being raised in a same-sex household, I am doing my best to tackle the subject of black hair care and hair styles that so many of our females face each day. Like many African-American men, I keep my hair short and close to the head. No tricks, bells or whistles, just short. It's so easy that I even cut it myself. It takes me 5 minutes and I'm good to go. I can't even begin to imagine spending money to have someone buzz my hair, let alone sitting in a barbershop for any length of time.
Raising a daughter and dealing with hair is a completely different story. Our daughter Grady, typically wears her hair in braids and beads. Very age-appropriate and easy to care for, but not so easy to learn how to braid her hair. In fact, it is seemingly impossible for either me or my partner to learn to braid. Maybe it's our DNA or our complete lack of having hair to care for ourselves, but it is a task that we can't master. To this day, I tease my partner, Tim, that I am still waiting for him to enroll in the hair braiding course that he stated he was going to take more than 4 years ago. On a side note and in his favor, he did manage to get a four-year B.A. degree during this time, so he has been busy learning, but he definitely didn't get a cosmetology certificate along the way.
For the past 4.5 years, our nanny, Natasha, braided Grady's hair each week and the two of them bonded as females and all things girly. The scene was typical of what one may see in a hair salon where the ladies sit around and shoot the breeze, laugh and work their hair magic. Natasha would start with a fresh wash and condition and then put the "goods" in Grady's hair to give it some hold. The "goods" have included countless products, safe for a young black girl's hair, with names such as Dr. Miracle's HOT GRO, Africa's Best SUPER GRO, Organic Root Stimulator OLIVE OIL, Organic Root Stimulator HAIR MAYONAISE, Luster's RENUTRIENTS SLICK STICK and my personal favorite as well as a fave of many black girls across America....Luster's PINK LOTION. Packaged in a Pepto-Bismol colored pink bottle, this is the holy grail of black hair care. When I squeeze that into the palm of my hand, I know that in a matter of minutes, Grady's hair will be ready for the runway.
While the two of them got their "braid" on, it was a race to the end to get the braids just right.
Natasha: Hold your head down Grady. Turn to the side Grady. Which color beads are we going to use today Grady? Which style of braids do you want this time Grady? How long do you want your braids Grady?
Grady: Ouch. That hurts. Can I lay down on the bed. Are we almost finished? My back hurts. Let's use yellow and purple. I want a side-ponytail today. I want them long.
I would peek into the room, say my hellos and make a fast dash out of the room, because this was no place for a man that couldn't braid hair. Natasha & Grady had this hair-braiding thing down to a science, so I just left them to their devices and enjoyed the finished product. So many beautiful braids, beads, colors and styles to enjoy, I was happy simply because Grady was happy.
Well you would think we would be on solid ground once the hair was braided, but no this was not the case. We had to spray it in the morning, grease the scalp, slick down the temples and the kitchen (the name that many African-American women use to refer to hair at the nape of their necks) and ALWAYS remember to tie it down in a scarf at night. "It holds the hair and keeps it fresh" is what I've been told. The whole process is exhausting, but again, for Grady's happiness no price is too much (although I can't wait 'til she starts helping to foot the bill to keep up this lifestyle..haha).
We tried to "relax" her hair a couple of summers ago, which was beautiful the first month and so easy to care for, until the short-lived glory was replaced with broken and damaged hair that is hard to repair and can take years to grow back to normal. Never again, until she can make that decision on her own, with a sound mind and plenty of information and guidance.
Well, reality set in this September when we lost our nanny. We actually didn't lose her, as she will always be an important part of our lives, but as the kids are both in school full-time, we no longer needed a nanny. Oh don't you readers out their worry, we hooked her up with another two-dad family and things seem to be going well. Anyway, back to hair...no nanny means no braids when we need them. With Natasha in our home 5 days a week for 4 years, she had plenty of time to braid Grady's hair. Picture day at school, no prob. Family function over the weekend, no prob. Holidays and celebrations, no problem. All hair, all the time. Give Grady & Natasha a little more than an hour and they would create magic. Now that is all gone away and we have to schedule a time to get to Natasha's. We love seeing Natasha and it gives us good reason to get together to see one another again, but it takes a lot of work to make this all happen. We have to go to Natasha's in Brooklyn (a train and a bus ride) and bring along the "goods", beads, elastics, and the extra hair...oh, I failed to mention that Grady gets store-bought hair braided into her natural hair to make it even stronger and to prevent "breakage". That's a lot of effort for someone who's own hair care takes about a total of ten minutes every 6 weeks and that may even be a stretch. But like I stated before, no price is too much for Grady's happiness.
So, this weekend I took out Grady's braids & beads and wash and conditioned her hair to the nines and gathered my senses and tried something new; a ponytail. No braids, no beads, just pulled back into a tight ponytail, greased in all the right places, held together with clips and pins and a wide headband and she was good to go. And you know what, she looked fantastic and we created our own magic together. It wasn't easy nor quick and at times I felt like throwing a beanie on her head and calling it a bohemian day, but we got it done and will continue to get it done. One day at a time, taking little steps along the way. Now, don't get it twisted and think that we have given up on the braids, because we all really like them and they do give us a break from having to create our magic everyday, but we will not stress this hair madness everyday. Grady is perfect with natural hair or braids and will always know that she is more than the hair on her head. She is a gift from above and will always be loved and most importantly always love herself and the hair she was given, whether it is natural or bought at a store. Plus, this kid has enough style and pizazz, to rock any look and make it her own and all the rage.
My New Project...Day 1 Oct 19, 2009
October 19, 2009
Today on the way to school, I decided that I am going to partake in a new project for the school year. Each day on the way to school, I am going to take a photo of Grady & Cyrus together. I told the kids about my idea and that we would follow how they look now to how they will look at the end of the school year, about eight months away. This combined with the high-pressure of getting them both fed, cleaned up, dress and ready to go should be quite interesting. Perhaps I will have them take a photo of me each day and see what I look like in eight months.
See ya in June.....calvin
10.15.2009
Halloween Is Upon Us
In just a couple of weeks, we will be celebrating Halloween. Our family is Halloween crazy and makes the most of the evening marching in the New York City Halloween Parade. I suggest all people, young and old, make this pilgrimage to the parade at least once in their lifetimes. The parade has tens of thousands of marchers and crowds more than one million strong. New Yorkers go all out making their costumes and while you still see the traditional witch or ghost, you are more likely to witness people dressed as five-headed monsters, flying saucers, or
over-sized subway rats.
Since we became dads, we have dressed our family as some type of four-pack with each year getting more elaborate than ever. We've had some fantastic costumes and group ideas, but last year's was beyond amazing, as the four of us went as Barack & Michelle Obama and their Secret Service agents. People on the street went crazy and it was one of the best nights any of us have ever had. By the end of the night, Cyrus and Grady even believed that they were Barack & Michelle, respectively.
Our friends have been asking us for months now, are we ready for Halloween yet. We are learning dance steps, doing final fittings on costumes, practicing music lyrics and reworking wigs for the big night. Stay tuned to see the fun unfold on Halloween night.
10.01.2009
Back in the swing of school
The first day of school 2009 - 2010. Watch out CWS here we come!!!!
So, we are back in the swing of school. After what was a very wet and rather short summer, fall has descended upon us and we are back to school. The kids are enjoying their new and old friends and getting familiar with their teachers and class routines. The morning routine is still being worked out and at times runs like an well-oiled machine and at other times like a broken-down jalopy. All it takes is one meltdown on the kids' behalf or mine and the whole routine is out of whack.
While Grady would prefer that we take a cab to school each morning, Cyrus is happy to walk or take the bus. I have made a commitment to my wallet and am forbidding cabs unless it is raining or there is some kind of major delay that would prevent the kids from making it to school in time. We'll see how that goes.
Anyway, we are getting into the groove and doing our thing.....and trying to keep a smile the whole way through.
9.19.2009
Marc Jacobs' S/S 2010
Every year since she was 7 months old, Grady and I have gone to the Marc Jacobs fashion show at the NY Armory. Each year we dress up and put on our best looks, Grady's far more amazing than mine, and go to the show. As I work in the fashion industry, I always make it a point to see Marc's shows, as they are cream of the crop. We typically get Grady a snack, hop in a taxi and arrive at the show. We visit the models backstage and see our old friends and sometimes see a sneak peek of rehearsals and then grab a spot to watch the show.
This year we had the fortunate chance to sit in the front-row to catch the show, but better yet, we sat 2 seats down from Madonna. I couldn't believe our good fortune. She looked great, we looked great and the clothes were over-the-top magnificent. After the show, we left and Grady was interviewed (if this is possible for a 5 year old) and the reporter even asked if she was Madoona's child, Mercy James. I replied no and in good fashion form, the reporter asked "well then who's daughter is she" to which I proudly and boldly exclaimed "MINE"
After leaving the venue, we followed up the evening with a trip to Bowery Bar restaurant for ice cream and french fries. What a great evening especially being able to share it with Grady.
Fashion's Night Out
To help pump up the economy, Vogue's Anna Wintour created Fashion's Night Out (FNO). FNO was held on 10 Sept 2009 and thousands of stores and consumers participated. Participating stores were open for business until 11pm. Many celebs and fashion people came out to celebrate and spend money including Sarah Jessica Parker, Oscar de la Renta, Donna Karan, Marc Jacobs, Mayor Bloomburg and supermodel Coco Rocha.
Cyrus and I participated, as well by attending a few parties including Bethann Hardison & Tyson Beckford's joint and Helena Christensen's photography exhibition at the Marc Jacobs store in SOHO. We had a great evening together.
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