The other day I had a strange conversation with an educator at my child's school that left me a bit dumbfounded.
Cyrus take Capoeira (an Afro-Brazilian art form that combines elements of martial arts, music and dance) each Wednesday after school. He is the youngest kid in his class and gets a bit frustrated with all of the verbal instructions that his teacher gives. "I just want to do the fighting part." I told him that he needs to know how to do the "fighting part" so he needs to listen to the instructor. Anyway, he is bored of the class and wants to switch to something different. Grady takes ballet on the same day, so he said that he wants to take ballet. Grady chimed in and said "boys don't do ballet" at which time I mentioned to her great ballerinos (male ballet danseurs) such as Alvin Ailey, Mikhail Baryshnikov, and Desmond Richardson. She was pleasantly suprised and they both thought it was cool to do ballet.
Anyway, fast-forward to Wednesday. While picking the kids up from capoeira and ballet, one of the organizers of the programs pulls me aside to speak to me about Cyrus and capoeira. She pretty much reiterates what Cyrus has told me (he's bored of all of the talk, etc) and suggests that he takes a different class that he may have more interest in. At this point I'm thinking to myself that this is perfect timing, as he said that he wanted to try something new, perhaps ballet, which I tell the organizer to which she replies "Oh no. Let's not put him into ballet." "Why not" I ask. Her reply "there are no other boys in the class and I don't want him to be the center of attention. I use to teach kindergarten and I don't want anyone singling him out for being different. I'll talk to the art teacher and maybe he can do art or something along those lines." Her insinuation was that ballet was a "girl" activity and if a boy participated he could be perceived as being "feminine" and would be emasculated.
All I can think of in my head is "why can't boys take ballet, shouldn't we embrace a child's individuality and isn't dance a form of art?" I seriously couldn't believe that I was having this conversation with an educator in 2010. I left the meeting in total disbelief at what I was hearing and not quite knowing what to say. I knew what I wanted to say but my mom always said "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
I am not sure that whether or not Cyrus would like ballet anymore than capoeira, but the point is he should be able to explore all sides of himself. To assume that he would be any less a boy if he takes ballet is just ridiculous and so antiquated. The funny thing is that if my daughter Grady wanted to play baseball, they would throw her a jersey and a mitt and say that she is making headway for girls around the world and she would be celebrated for being "different".
The lesson in all of this is that I will love my kids regardless of what activities they partake in, as long as they work hard, do their best and are having fun. I don't think we need to fill kid's heads about what they can't do but rather appreciate all they can do. Who says boys can't do ballet? Not me.
xo.....Daddy
